Miracles

I felt it was important for my own personal record, to write down the blessings and miracles I've seen in my life because of this trial I went through. My mom and I often talk about all the things we went through during this time since she was the one who went to the Mayo Clinic with me and "nursed" me back to health when my husband couldn't be there. I am forever grateful for her sacrifice. I also want my Dad to know that I love him so much and I'm grateful for all the financial sacrifices he made in order for my mom and I to go to the Mayo Clinic.

Many, many, people prayed and donated time, money and services for me and my family's behalf. All the medical bills were generously paid for by the Mayo Clinic Charity and the Mennonite house for providing a comfortable place for mom and I to stay while I was treated. What an incredible blessing!!!

I am grateful for the blessings of the gosple in my life and for the support that the Lord provided for me during the biggest trial in my life.

Now, it is just a memory, but I will never forget the things I learned. Some of them include:  a deeper compassion and understanding for those suffering through physical illness and pain. My faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is stronger. And the understanding that I was given a family to help to me in times of trial and it is my duty to lift and support each one of them in their trials.

Health Sweet Health

I am doing well these days and I was able to come home to Rexburg, Idaho with My Josh and Baby Ella on November 27th. Besides being a little lonely and missing my family in CO, I like being back in my own home with my lovely little family. We were planning on staying home for Christmas. My oldest sister Heather and her family will be coming to mom and dads for Christmas and she hasn't seen baby Ella yet so alas, we are going back home on the 23rd!

I measured my incision for the first time the other day and it is 13 inches long! But it is healing beautifully and I am able to do just about all things as before, what a blessing! My insulinoma has taught me that life is precious and that the mortal body is a miracle in itself! I'm eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for this experience, now I know what real pain is and my capacity to emphasize, love and give service to others in similar situations has increased dramatically! I am also grateful the chance to be healthy again and live each day with more happiness and motivation. My medical bills are up to $81,000+ thus far, a little unsettling, yeah?! I remind Josh everyday that's it's okay because now he has a healthy wife again who has energy and he doesn't have to worry about me dying every night!

Well, this journey of mine hasn't been short, you see, I didn't start blogging 'til near the end of it. Nevertheless, I would like to say cheers to the end of this blog! I shall continue updating my original blog which you can follow by visiting bandjsteward.blogspot.com

On the mend

Things are finally looking up, I have been able to recover from the terrible stomach bug that plagued me all last week and yesterday I went down to Littleton Adventist Hospital to see if my drain could be removed. It started hurting when my mom would flush it with saline and it would leak saline through the hole in my abdomen. It wasn't pulling any pancreatic fluid out anymore so I knew it was time to check it. The radiologist injected some dye into my drain to illuminate the area to see if there was still a cavity filling with fluid. It only took like 30 seconds and he knew that it was healed up in there and the drain was ready to be removed!!! He pulled it out without any pain to me and I was a free and happy woman! Drains are the most uncomfortable and annoying things to deal with and I love being drain free! I don't need to take pain meds routinely anymore, I can handle the discomfort without it most of the time, so that's really nice!

My Josh comes in 3 days for thanksgiving and baby Ella's blessing and then to take us home! He hasn't seen El in one month!! We are so ready to be together again, I love him so much. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am so thankful for him. He called me last night to tell me that we got our first medical bill from the Mayo Clinic, over $100,000!!!! Oh my gosh, he was in shock and I couldn't stop laughing. It's so outrageous and beyond anything we can pay, but we'll try to do the best we can. I just hope these bills that I have no control over won't ruin my credit because I have worked really hard to have excellent credit. Thank you all for supporting my family and I through this difficult trial. Your prayers, thoughts, concern, and love have made it bearable and I am eternally grateful for that. :) Below is a picture of my scar and drain.

Definatly a struggle..

Well, I've been at my parents house for a week now and it has been a struggle. I still have my drain in place and it is so uncomfortable! Hopefully it will be taken out the beginning of next week because it has mostly stopped draining. I found a radiologist here in Colorado who will take it out for me. Last tuesday night I got really really sick and ended up in the hospital for a day. They did a CT scan and it looked good. They thought it might be a bladder infection or food poisoning but nope. I was discharged and felt better for a day and then got really sick again so mom took me back to the ER so I could be tested for a bacteria but it came back negative. So the doctors don't know what is wrong with me. I think it's a bad case of the stomach bug. Anyway, I love being back with my baby Ellie. She smiles and coos all the time, precious!! She has grown out of all the clothes I brought with me so I've had to buy her some new ones. Josh is coming next saturday, the 21st so I've asked him to bring some bigger clothes! I will be going home to Rexburg, Idaho with Josh on Friday, the 27th as long as I have my drain removed before then. I am so excited to be back home and moving on with life. Soon I'll be back to my old self and healthy!

Here's a picture of baby Ellie, she's 6 weeks old now!

The surgery

The surgery happened on Oct 28th 2009. All went fairly well and it took about 3 1/2 hours. My tumor was taken out with little complication, there was a small tear on a part of the pancreas but was repaired with a piece of my small intestine. My gall bladder was removed as well as my appendix. The surgeon decided to remove the appendix because it was unusually long and wrapped around my colon which he thought could lead to a future problem. Thank you surgeon!!! Recovery went okay for the first couple of days, I had an epidural and IV pain meds to keep me comfortable. I started having blood in my stool which lead to some worry that there might be internal bleeding. But after more tests, we discovered it was just old blood from the surgery and was perfectly okay. On Friday they took my epidural out and started weening me from the strong IV pain meds, this lead to disaster!!!! I was in excruciating pain in my back, abdomen and chest. They started the strong pain meds again but nothing worked. This agonizing pain lasted for 3 days. So finally monday morning the surgeon ordered for me to have another CT scan and they found old blood and a tiny bit of pancreatic fluid around the area of the incision. They inserted a needle in my abdomen and drained it out, then gave me some more pain meds. He said part of my pain is also probably from passing a leftover gallstone. This morning I had another CT scan to make sure there was no more fluid accumulated, however there was so I had another drain inserted into my abdomen. I will leave the hospital with it in. My pain is manageable now and I am starting to feel better. Yay!!! As soon as I have a good 24 hrs, I can go home to my baby, which by the way she is doing wonderfully with my sisters!

first stop.. Colorado..

Baby Ellie and I made it to Colorado on Wednesday the 21st. She is doing really well, she takes formula great and I have a nice supply of mommy milk for her as well. My sisters love her and take really good care of her so that gives me much comfort.

Earlier this month I began to have severe, stabbing pain all through out my rib cage and back. It would last for hours and no pain medicine would relieve it. I finally called my mom and explained the pain to her and she said, "that sounds exactly like what I had when I had gallstones" So I went to my doc and sure enough, I now have gallstones. The surgeon at the Mayo Clinic said he would be happy to take my gallbladder out the same time as the surgery to remove my insulinoma. However, he said my gallbladder ultrasound and blood tests confirm that there is inflammation on my abdomen so he recommends I wait 6 weeks so that it can subside. I was devastated with that news, living with the pain and low blood sugar for another 6 weeks???! no!!!! I called the surgeon right up and told him that it would be very difficult to do this, so he had me get another ultrasound and blood test and discovered that the inflammation had gone down some and that we could continue with the scheduled surgeries on the 28th as long as the tests that they preform at Mayo continue to look good. Cross your fingers! I haven't had any pain for over a week now so that's a great sign!

My husband flew out here to CO last night for an internship interveiw today and also to see baby Ella and I before I head to Mayo. It is good to be with him again, I love him soooo much. He gave baby ella and I a blessing and it really gave me peace and comfort. I feel more confident that things will go well for me and that my baby will be well taken care of. Thanks my Josh!!